I enjoyed so much those precious hands, first smiles, first laughs and all of the fun firsts! Then I became anxious to see them able to do things for themselves.
I couldn’t wait until they could walk to another room and bring me something I asked for. I looked forward to when they could feed themselves, dress themselves and had no more diapers to change. Some of these things brought them more independence and seemed to allow me some more time where I could rest a minute on a chair when they went and grabbed something on their own. They gave me time to let them sit for a minute so that I could take care of a chore I had to do.
This extra time seems so nice at first, but then, I realized that they were moving on to do new things that didn’t require or involve me hardly at all. That meant that I didn’t have to be available except to drop them off or pick them up. My eyes started tearing and I got choked up when I realized that they aren’t with me for the day! Then I got home and realized that I can again, take a break! I could get together with friends. I could go to the store without my kids screaming or asking for everything. I realized that I could get several chores done again over a longer period of time.
This becomes the norm for us mothers. We get used to all this” time” and what seems like so many conveniences we have while they are gone. But in letting go, we also GIVE UP time. We no longer have them around depending on us, loving us, making us special pictures and cards!
This cycle keeps happening, just in different ages, different abilities they have to go to school, go on a date, drive a car, then finish high school! We look forward sometimes to these extra levels of independence for them, but it really costs us something. It costs us time. It is something we will never have again, unique to them. We may go through it with another child, each child we have, but we never get that back with THEM!
I was bad at taking pictures when they were young. We didn’t have cell phones with camera’s on them to keep looking at and show them so quickly. I didn’t see too many pictures of what my siblings and I looked like when we were young. We had a few, but also I rarely looked through pictures, remembering the good times. My plan was to have these pictures of our kids available for many years to go through. We can look back at all of these pictures but it can never completely replace this time!
Back when they were young, I wanted to put them down for a nap or let them play or sit in a swing. Now, I wish I could just hold them again. Later, I just wanted to get them to their next stop. Now, I just wish that they would come home and stay a while. It seems that there are so many conveniences to see them grow older and gain more independence. There are conveniences for them and for us. But they cost us something. It costs them something. It costs TIME!
I know that growing up is a fact of life, but so is spending time with our children before it is too late. As Moms, we look forward to special things we hope that they will get to experience someday like getting married and having children of their own. But while we have the opportunity, before it is too late and they are gone, enjoy the time that you have. It’s about time!
“In the early rush of morning
Trying to get the kids to school
One’s hanging on my shirttail
Another’s locked up in her room
And I’m yelling up the stairs
Stop worrying about your hair
You look fine
Then they’re fighting in the backseat
And I’m playing referee
Now someone’s gotta go
The moment that we leave
And everybody’s late
I swear that I can’t wait
Till they grow up
Then they do
And that’s how it is
It’s just quiet in the morning
Can’t believe how much you miss
All they do
And all they did
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true
Then they do”
Now the youngest is starting college
She’ll be leaving in the fall
And Brianna’s latest boyfriend
Called to ask if we could talk
And I got the impression
That he’s about to pop the question
Any day
I look over at their pictures
Sitting in their frames
I see them as babies
I guess that’ll never change
You pray all their lives
That some day they will find happiness
Then they do
And that’s how it is
It’s just quiet in the morning
Can’t believe how much you miss
All they do
And all they did
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true
Then they do
No more Monday PTAs
No carpools or soccer games
Your work is done
Now you’ve got time that’s all your own
You’ve been waiting for so long
For those days to come
Then they do
And that’s how it is
It’s just quiet in the morning
Can’t believe how much you miss
All they do
And all they did
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true
Then they do
Oh, then they do”
Oh how true this is. Children grow up but you miss that sweet time when they think you are great and can fix anything. Pictures of days gone by and get togethers help to keep the closeness. Don’t forget phone calls either. A child is not a child forever but a parent is a parent always! 💖