For those of us who have children already, when we see that someone is hurt, we ask our child,”was this an accident or did you do this on purpose?” They get real quiet and say that they did it on purpose! This means usually that they thought about it ahead of time, this was their “intent or objective.” It is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”
God thought ahead of time when He created, me, when He created you and created the whole world. I often wonder when I am having a hard time, when I am not trusting Him, “why did He want me, why did He create me anyways? With all of the pro-life, pro-choice decisions and stands that so many states are making now, even 50 years ago, when situations were not convenient for my mother to have me, she could have chosen abortion, but she chose not to have one. Life seems so complicated and easily disposable when situations are confusing and don’t go as planned. But God, He is The Way, He makes a way! Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, his way is perfect:
The Lord’s word is flawless;
He shields all who take refuge in him.”
From the time I was extremely young(under 5 years old), I remember family taking me to church. I remember hearing the names,”Jesus” and “God”. I heard that He was a kind, loving person who loved me and I should love and care about other people too. I should listen to my parents, other adults and be a “nice little girl.” As I grew a little older, I saw circumstances become more difficult such as leaving my father, staying with only my mother now, then my mom re-married. None of us knew the Lord at that point. The year after that, my family went to a Bible study and was introduced to Jesus Christ. I believed all that I could understand at that point in my life. I was around six years old at that time. Over the next two years, I was exposed to many Bible clubs, Sunday School and summer programs to educate me more about who Jesus, God’s Son is, what He did for me and why I matter to Him. I heard of several missionaries such as Amy Carmichael in India, William Carey also in India and Hudson Taylor in China. I felt sorry for people who didn’t know the Lord and were never exposed to teaching about the Lord. One day, May 22, 1977, I talked to my mom about missionaries and about the Lord. She asked if I knew the Lord, since this is important if I wanted to tell others about Him. I wasn’t completely sure that I had accepted Him personally at that point. I then made the decision to trust Him as my personal Lord and Savior who gave His life on the cross, was buried and rose again, to cover my sins. If I believed this, I could then be a child of God and have confidence that I would spend eternity with Him!
Years passed by, I still believed this, but like most people, I was confused and hurt by many situations in my life. I didn’t understand “if God loved me, how could He let this happen?” This is such a common question that most people ask! My faith was not as stable as it once seemed as a child. I continued going to church, went to Bible College, married a Christian man. I did all of the “good things” a Christian was taught. We then had three children. In those years, many more difficult things happened such as health got worse, our finances were tight, my husband went back to college, and many other difficult trials took place. We moved fairly often like I did growing up. Our kids were growing up and I had some tough things to learn in that time. I went to college also and graduated. I discovered during the work I did throughout college and professors I sat under, how much I loved to write. I procrastinated often when I thought of writing except to just journal on occasion.
We were as a family involved in several churches over the years, working in Awana clubs, youth programs and choir and worship ministries. Eventually, we ended up in the St.Louis area due to a job change and promotion for my husband.
After moving to St.Louis, I had difficulty finding a good doctor to treat my epilepsy. I went to the second doctor who messed up my medication so much that I ended up in the hospital several times, I had great tremors, I was unable to walk or eat normally for a period of time and was in critical condition for a time. I was waiting to go visit a new doctor while all of this was happening. I was finally able to go visit and was treated by this new doctor and many things have changed and become better health wise since then. After things improved though, I realized that God really did have a purpose for my life. He had a reason for sparing my life when many things could have gone very wrong.
Since being here, I also have been unable to drive most of the last 4 years. I have had many bad days, feeling very lonely, very depressed and anxious. I have also had some very good days where I realize that God has a purpose in all that He has allowed. I have more time to read, study, write, pray and do whatever I am able to do for Him, for our church in the circumstances I am in. I look forward as things seem to be improving, to serve Him more! I find that as He allows circumstances to come into my life, He can use me to help other people involved with similar situations. I can be a comfort and encourage them in their journey, in their walk with the Lord. He can also use me to lead others to the Lord.
My husband and I are really excited to be part of a great church, Grace River Church, that actively leads others to Christ, disciples those who have come to Christ, encourages each other, through our strengths and weaknesses, and impacts those near and far from us with the gospel. We are looking forward very much, to see how we can continue reaching people even more when we have our new building ready to use soon!
Thoughts to summarize:
- Our life has a purpose!
- Isaiah 43:7
- Psalm 57:2
- Learn and grow to know God better and worship Him
- Philippians 3:10
- Hebrews 13:20-21
- 1Chronicles 16:23-31
- Share Him with others, make a difference!
- 1 Pet 3:15
- Let Him use my strengths and weaknesses for His glory
- Philippians 3:10
- 2 Corinthians 12:10
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
- Be part of advancing His church locally and globally, impacting the world now and for future generations!
- Acts 1:8
Here are lyrics to a song I heard and love from many years ago now, called For Future Generations by 4Him:
I won’t bend and I won’t breakFor Future generations by 4him
I won’t water down my faith
I won’t compromise in a world of desperation
What has been I cannot change
But for tomorrow and today
I must be a light for future generations