Marriages Are Failing Today
Daily, we see news stories of A-list celebrity couples who have decided that it is time to end their marriages. Some just say that their marriage has been too rocky and some say that they have ended things on “good terms”. I ask myself though, if they are ending their marriage especially “peacefully” why can’t they stick it out and continue making things better? If their marriage is “rocky”, why don’t they get help before it gets so bad, so that they grow and understand each other better? I SO understand that life is very hard and marriage can be very tough when two people come from very different backgrounds. They have to learn to communicate and work together when life gets difficult and very inconvenient and messy at times. Couples need to realize that marriage takes real commitment!
Where Good Marriages Start
Commitment must be on both sides to Jesus first- to love Him first, then to “love you neighbor as yourself”. While our spouse is more than a neighbor and we take a vow at the altar or at a courthouse, they are someone to whom we have a responsibility to love like Jesus says to love. Real love requires us to lay aside the wants that we have and care and protect our spouse even from ourselves at times.
Love and commitment are rarely filled with fuzzy, sweet feelings. I think when we first get together as couples and we go on all of our sweet dates, we assume life is going to go so easy. Next, we get engaged and have a blast planning our wedding, then hope to go on a luxurious honeymoon that we will never forget. When we start our family a few years later, we just assume that life will be grand. Our feelings tell us that we are in love, but it is NOT love. Life feels good when our circumstances are going smooth, but this is not always the case. We have to realize that commitment keeps us together, not our feelings.
No Pictures Can Describe
Facebook and other social media sites have not helped with these “feelings” we think equal love. I see all these pretty weddings and nice looking honeymoons and vacations, then we take our kids on all these fun vacations. We show off our family pictures, all of our “things” but we don’t show the hard work, that it takes to get through life. There are simply no Facebook pictures or ways to completely show what hard work really looks like to an outside world. Again, marriage takes real commitment.
Let’s look at the most common vows stated at weddings:
To have and to hold…
From this day forward- do we always want to be with this person, sitting around and hugging constantly, or does your spouse irritate you and you need to go into another room and have quiet time for a while, have your space? I can say honestly, that things aren’t always “pretty” and look like a Hallmark card or movie with sweet feelings.
For better, for worse…
Some days, some times and periods in our life are better, some are worse. Early on in our marriage, our jobs made it difficult to see each other very often, getting to communicate well. This recent Covid 19, was not the best season in all of our lives. We did get to spend lots of time together, but some days, honestly, we got on each others nerves. There was little to go and do, to get out and have a change of scenery, a change of pace. We did find watching some funny movies and binge watching shows helped and we enjoyed that. Again, commitment, to make it work, is what it takes.
For richer, for poorer...
We have experienced both. Early on, we made lots of mistakes with credit. We made lots of mistakes in general, with finances. I loved shopping. We had tough jobs that barely made ends meet. eventually, things got better. We are thankful for this.
In sickness and in health…
We have experienced each of these. I’m thankful that Daniel has been committed in difficult times, especially three years ago. We had to learn to work together whether we feel good or not.
To love and to cherish…
Protect and care for each other lovingly. Value each other. Show God’s love. He is committed to us regardless of what we do! I know that we don’t always please God, yet He is there constantly for us, to allow us to come to Him whenever!
Till death do us part!
Stay committed, until we are no longer here on earth.
Sanctus Real sings a beautiful, meaningful song called Commitment. We have to stick with it, even when our feelings fade! We are “just two broken souls clinging on to Jesus.” Marriage takes real commitment!
I wanna finish the life we started
I wanna be two old beautiful souls that stayed with it
And in those times our feelings fade I’m gonna give you
the one thing
that makes all the difference
You have my commitment
And I wanna finish the way we started
Just two broken souls clinging on to Jesus
We’ve seen His faithfulness and grace and I wanna love you that way.
Commitment by Sanctus Real
This post is dedicated to Daniel, today on our 30th wedding anniversary! (June 9, 2020)
I love you! Thank you for your dedication and commitment to me and our marriage! Thank you for believing in me, no matter what!
June 9, 1990- till death do us part!