A Real Friend: Unfriending Facebook

Critical Decisions About A Real Friend

I have made some important decisions lately. Last night, I was thinking about what a real friend is and the value of keeping my Facebook account.

As I considered my values, I realized that Facebook and social media in general has so cheapened the concept of a real friend. But, I also realized that I am involved in some private groups that I feel I should continue to be involved with. They mainly involve ministries that I have been apart of or created. I still have not worked out how I will switch to a different social media platform to stay connected with my real friends. Overall, still, I evaluated whether or not I would still consider them my friends, real friends. I talk to real friends without arguing or name calling whether on the phone, through text or private message. I decided that most of these people, share the majority of my values and I would still love to keep in touch with them in some way.

This year has been particularly difficult in so many lives. People get SO upset, and as a result, get upset at each other. They don’t only debate fairly. They call each other names and hate on each other if someone else does not have the same view as they do. This also carries over to the cancel culture and not only do we feel that we can’t write what we feel we should, we feel we can’t even carry our views in real life situations that are not on social media. We have become a land that is help captive by hate. People have even begun fighting and rioting in the streets and physically hurting others because we can’t listen to each other.

What is a Real Friend?

I began looking at who my real friends are. Before computers and the world of social media, and this thing we call “friends”, which often really are not. Would a friend take a look at a picture or something I accomplished and say NOTHING? If I praised them, would they say NOTHING? If it was my birthday or anniversary and I told them, would they say nothing? Then why do I consider them my friend?

I want real friends, real relationships. I want friends that will send me pictures, that will write me or call me, regardless of what way. If they don’t or won’t, they are NOT what I want as a real friend. They may not be my enemies, but they certainly are not my friends. I wonder why I am spending so much time then, looking through social media at all their stuff and hoping that they “like” or comment on something when they really don’t. For me, that hurts. I want friends to be involved in my life and want me involved in their lives.

I like to learn from people and organizations and groups. For that reason, I continue growing from them and supporting them, just like I think they would appreciate my support.

What a Friend is NOT

This year, I was on Twitter. I gave my opinion. Several people harassed me and started calling me names because I didn’t subscribe to the group think that was common in that group. These are not real friends and certainly didn’t represent the person whose post I commented on! I lost so much respect for that person and for the people she surrounded herself with. As a result, I will NEVER, have an account with Twitter again!!!!

I regularly see on the news, people lying, censoring both on Facebook and on Twitter, when people do not like what they have to say. This truthfully, is the beginning of Socialism. Socialism seeks to control people and they begin by telling people what they can communicate to others. This does not honor the freedom of speech and/or freedom of the press that we are told we have in our Constitution.

So What Do I Do?

I will continue modifying my Facebook account and considering what is good or not good for me to be involved in. I want to stay connected with friends and family that I love dearly. As more options open up, I will be transitioning Parler and MeWe. It is such a shame that what seemed to be a good opportunity to be connected, has turned into such a mess. People have even gone to such extents as to believe all that they hear on Facebook. They don’t look for real truth. I find this to be so wrong and a shame as well. It is dividing families, it is dividing people in general and certainly is dividing our country. Would you take some time and evaluate what is important and what you say and believe? I think this would change you and others.

6 thoughts on “A Real Friend: Unfriending Facebook

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  1. It seems like the traditional media and social media are driving these changes, but this is an ancient problem. Aristotle had a lot to say about the nature of friendship in Nicomachean Ethics, which reflects some of the sentiments you have spelled out here. All friendship is based on reciprocity. You cannot be friends with someone who disagrees with you about the nature of the world in some fundamental sense, or who lacks any actual goodwill toward you. If the mechanics of your exchanges are not reciprocal, they are not a friend.

    One thing I have started to grok about social media, however, is it’s not just the people who pick fights that need to go. Lurkers can be some of the most malicious people out there, tagging people for “hate-speech” and whatnot.

    This is a period where people of goodwill need to start rebuilding their communities and institutions in earnest. And I mean authentic communities. People who will help you raise children and grandchildren who follow what is beautiful, good, and true. I have gotten to the point where I feel like the first honest step toward peace in my home, neighborhood, and life in general is to stop trying to engage the un-engageable and focus on exploring positive connections to the fullest. We are called to lead by example, but it seems like a lot of folks are obsessed with trying to convert Satan to the peril of everyone they (actually) love and enjoy being around.

  2. I made my page private for others to see but still get to participate in the groups I want. There are no real friends on social media, 99% of the time. The way i lookat it anyone can be anything, they are a non, you know nothing about them and they can tell you anything. That’s not friends. It’s people you communicate with. Please remember social media is a very negative platform, I also voiced an opioin that dind’t go over well and was trolled and threated my life by several people. People are looking for someone to take out hteir anger and hate on. You’re better off developing a slow relationsip with someone on wordpress than on social media channels. You can at least read their post, learn more abou them and see if oyu have anyhting iin common. Just alwasy remember, people can be anything and will. Take care.

    1. definitely! It is really hard when we are conservative and people are so unkind, then facebook censors so much! They don’t want us to be real! I don’t like to be fake!

      1. I am right there with you. All this stuff is tearing apart our country and our families. When did being a good, honest, hard working person become the root of all evil?

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