Here are some mid week laughs for you all to carry you through the week and keep you happy and motivated! I call them my Hump Day Ha Ha’s.
Bible Hump Day Ha Ha
Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson. He brought the house down
Blonde Hump Day Ha Ha
Question: Why couldn’t the blonde add 10+5 on a calculator?
Answer: She couldn’t find the “10” button.
Science and Technology Hump Day Ha Ha‘s
Question: Is Google male or female?
Answer: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion
Question: Why can’t you trust an atom?
Answer: Because they make up everything
Question: What do computers eat for a snack?
Answer: Microchips. They eat them in bytes
Business Hump Day Ha Ha‘s
I tried starting a hot air balloon business but it never took off!
I’m great at Multi-tasking! I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.
Animal Hump Day Ha Ha‘s
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I will let you know which one comes first!
On the topic of eggs, one of my favorite sitcoms is Green Acres… yes from way back in the day. Here is a clip that I found on YouTube about an chicken laying eggs
Then there’s the one about a man who goes to a shop to buy a parrot. He asks the shop owner the price of the parrot.
Shop owner: $500
Customer: Why so costly?
Shop owner: He knows Word, Excel and PowerPoint.
Customer: What’s the price of the second parrot?
Shop owner: $1,000 as it knows Word, Excel, PowerPoint and also knows how to Program.
Customer: How nice, and what is the price of the third parrot which is sleeping?
Shop owner: That’s for $5,000
Customer: And what does it know?
Shop owner: That I don’t know, I haven’t seen him do anything, but the other two parrots call him “boss.”
College, First Job Hump Day Ha Ha
Question: (Teacher) Which book has helped you the most in your life?
Answer: (Student) My father’s checkbook
Human Resources Hump Day Ha Ha
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology:
“And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The engineer replies” in the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer inquires” Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every two years, say, a red corvette?”
The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow, are you kidding?”
The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it!”
Most jokes sourced from: