Here are some mid-week laughs for you all, to carry you through the week! Ii hope they keep you happy and motivated! I call them my Hump Day Ha Ha’s.
Science and Technology Hump Day Ha Ha
Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay. You have my Word as I Excel at getting people back
Blonde Hump Day Ha Ha
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499.
Having only one dollar left, she goes to the Telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and the trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, ”How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?”
The redhead replies, ”She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.”
Food Hump Day Ha Ha‘s
Question: Did you know that the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
Answer: They were cooked in Greece.
Question: What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Answer: Make me one with everything
Writing Hump Day Ha Ha‘s
I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. Sadly, no pun in ten did. <Read the last 3 words together as one>
Question: Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
Answer: He won the “no-bell” prize.
Psychic Hump Day Ha Ha
Question: What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?
Answer: A small medium at large
Covid-19 Hump Day Ha Ha
The Covid-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that social distancing could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though!
Bible Hump Day Ha Ha
Question: Where did Noah keep his bees?
Answer: In the Ark Hives
Question: Who was the greatest money man in the Bible?
Answer: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Another Clip from Green Acres
See Last Weeks Humor Here