Medical Hump Day Ha Ha’s

Why I’m Writing Today…

Today, my husband and I have someone very close to us, going through surgery to remove cancer. It is a serious matter, but in our family, we try to stay positive and like to enjoy life. Having something to laugh about on Hump Day I think will really help! If you or someone close to you needs some cheering up today, especially if they are going through something medical in nature, please read and enjoy these medical hump day ha ha’s today.

Medical Ha Ha Story

“My favorite is a true story. During residency, I got paged at 3aM to the SICU. I called them a bit curious as to what was going on, as 3AM calls to the Neurologist rarely come from the SICU.

When I introduced myself as the on-call neurologist, the very southern sounding nurse loudly exclaimed: “Neurology? I wanted Urology. I got the wrong end!”

Funny One-liners Typed by Medical Secretaries:

The patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Funny Medical Definitions:

Varicose: Near or close by

Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport.

Seizure: Roman Emperor

Post Operative: A letter carrier

Outpatient: A person who has fainted

Enema: Not a friend

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her

Medical Staff: A doctor’s cane

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates

Vein: Conceited

More Medical Hump Day Ha Ha’s

My spouse broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.

When I told the doctor about my memory loss, he made me pay in advance.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Question:What did the man who swallowed a bag of nickels say to the doctor reading his x-ray?

Answer: Any change?

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line 1 that say’s he’s invisible” “

Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

Question: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?

Answer: He made a spectacle of himself

Read More Ha Ha’s…

8 thoughts on “Medical Hump Day Ha Ha’s

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  1. Thank you for sharing!! Made me giggle and smile today! Praying for a good outcome for your friend/family member and yes, I Love the positivity!! 💕 ~ Diana

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