I understand, commitment is really hard! We have great days and really hard days. Some are great early on and some days are really hard early on when we first get to know each other even though we think we already do. At times we think that we will figure each other out then everything in our relationship will be fine and dandy. We have thirty-two years of commitment as of today! We will grow old and not much will go wrong at least between us. But this really is not the case. Just when our circumstances seem impossible, we have to make a choice to commit. It is only by God’s grace and our decision to commit, forever!
Not Just At The Altar
We don’t just commit at the altar when we get married or before the judge. Our life seems much easier to say “I do” at that point. What isn’t easy but not impossible is when we get married but we work opposite hours. Then our children come at different times than we planned or expected. The next one comes, then another and then another. Honestly, our finances really seem impossible to raise a family.
Our Plans Change, Are We Still Committed?
Our plan early on was to do some kind of training towards ministry or a missionary career. Daniel worked some jobs that were opposite my schedule or our kids schedule. Life got our attention and we really had to make tough decisions based on where we were in life right then. It was time for at least Daniel to go to college. I shared this story in other posts, but I’m not sure that I shared enough about the level of commitment that it took throughout the years to “stick with it.” Even though we had plans and were working those plans, God had different plans and we had to adjust to Him and still stay committed even when our expectations blew apart.
Only By God’s Grace And Our Commitment
I also went back to college, something that was not in our original plans. I loved it, truthfully! It was a great opportunity. Daniel believed in me, God had and still has His plan for me. Even though I was very insecure I still went forward believing that God had a purpose. In 2005, I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. We had so many ups and downs. Daniel graduated and we moved to North Carolina for his first job in the computer field. I still had some more work to do though which entailed me traveling one day a week. Long story short, I finished and graduated! Commitment, again is truly the only way that we were able to do this!
I didn’t go into business and for a LONG time I was even more insecure about why I had worked so hard to not get the outcome I wanted. Turns out that during my time in school, God developed in me a passion for writing and God had to develop that passion and skill. I didn’t understand it then, but God was preparing me for what I do right now. I’m still insecure about it at times, but I continue to remain faithful and committed to what God has called me to and what God and Daniel supported me in through all the struggles.
We Need God’s Grace…Today & Every Day
After this, we moved a few times and, before we knew it, our daughters were in their teens. If anyone has teen daughters, you know the struggle. Boys, clothes, drama are conversation topics that happen regularly. It is hard to understand each other between husband and wife and then between us and our daughters. It takes a lot to be on the same page and stay committed at that point in life as well. We didn’t always agree on what we allowed. This was not something that we talked about before, and especially not before we got married. There is no “parents guide” as we all know. Trust me, I’ve scoured Amazon looking for that manual.
The First Time Really Apart
Our girls grew up then we moved again due to Daniel’s job. The girls made the decision whether they wanted to move with us or stay where we already lived. For the first time, we were mostly all apart. This was and is particularly hard when we miss our kids. Then we discovered that all of our kids were gone and we were by ourselves. We didn’t have a whole lot of time to ourselves early on as we were young and had our kids fairly soon after we got married. It was time to relearn how to live together.
Really, We Had To Stick To Our Commitment
All of these past years, we had one thing after another that we somehow got through but didn’t really know how at times. It was time to really choose to be committed; but it wasn’t a one-time choice. It was a day-by-day and moment-by-moment choice to recommit to each other. We both went through some pretty tough health challenges for a time. Times when our daughters and we did not click and we didn’t understand each other, and even times when we have all been apart in different states were very difficult. By now, we have four grandchildren that we truly adore. We have learned to be thankful even when we hit a rough spot every now and then. What choice do we make? The choice that we said we would make is that we will stay committed.
Some Do Their Best, But Then…
Some couples have extenuating circumstances where some serious sin or abuse happens, where a separation is necessary maybe even divorce. One female author than I look up to so much is Lysa TerKeurst. I know from reading a few of her books, that she really did work her hardest at her marriage with her now ex-husband. There was adultery on her ex-husband’s part, then forgiveness and renewing vows, then it happened again. If this happened to you, I don’t condemn you. God knows your heart and your circumstances. He wants His best for you and so do I. Put all you can into keeping the commitment that you made to each other.